What Is Important to You? (And Are You Brave Enough to Admit It?)

I know, I’ve written about core values, turning 40 and taking stock, questioning whether we are where we thought we’d be, and navigating anxieties that creep in as life evolves.

But recently, I’ve been sitting with a slightly different question:

What is actually important to me?

Not what should  be important. Not what looks good on paper. Not what you were told to want.

But what truly drives you. What makes you tick. What feels aligned — and what doesn’t.

The Honest Bit

It has taken me until my 40's to be completely honest with myself about something that, when said out loud, sounds… odd.

“I don’t deal well with the everyday.”

Strange thing for a 44-year-old woman to say, right?

By this age, shouldn’t we have it all together? Shouldn’t we just be able to cope?

But it’s not that kind of coping. It’s not overwhelm. It’s not poor mental health.

It’s boredom.

The routine. The mundane. Work. Eat. Sleep. Look after the kids. Repeat. Weekends off. Start again.

Yes, I know — that’s adult life. That’s responsibility. That’s how we earn money and build stability and create opportunities for the “good bits.”

And I love what I do. Supporting clients with nutrition, menopause guidance, and prediabetes prevention genuinely lights me up. Helping people transform their health is meaningful work.

But if I’m honest?

I need more.

The Life Script We’re Handed

Most of us follow the conventional blueprint:

School. Study. Work. Buy or rent a house. Have children. Meet someone. Settle down.

I did that.

Did it bring happiness? Apart from my children — no, not really.

Did I always feel there was something more? Absolutely.

For years, I couldn’t quite name it. I just felt slightly out of place. Like I was doing everything “right” but something wasn’t clicking. My drive masked it. Achievement masked it. Constant goals masked it.

It’s funny how other people sometimes see you more clearly than you see yourself.

An ex-boyfriend once said to me, “You want more. You get bored. You won’t settle.”

At the time, I brushed it off.

Now! It rings true.

Wanting More vs. Being Wired Differently

Of course we all want more. Growth is human. Progress is natural. Having a goal — that carrot dangling in front of us — keeps life interesting.

But this feels different.

It’s a regular frustration. A low-level dread of monotony. A constant internal pull that whispers, “There has to be more than the rat race.” (My dad used to call life that all the time.)

And when you can’t clearly define what that “more” is, it becomes confusing.

Because from the outside, everything looks fine.

Designing a Life That Breaks the Mould

When I look at my life choices, they suddenly make sense.

Living in a cabin. Self-building slowly with no mortgage. Drip-feeding the build so we maintain freedom. Prioritising travel and adventure — alone, with my boys, or with Craig.

All of it creates variation. Space. Movement.

It breaks up the mundane.

It softens the rigidity of the grown-up necessities — earning money, juggling work, parenting, studying, repeating the cycle.

Even the way I structure my work matters. Variation in my week helps enormously. Loving what I do helps even more. But I also know I can be my own worst enemy — constantly adding another qualification, another challenge, another goal.

Growth is healthy. But relentless pressure isn’t.

Learning when to push and when to step back has been one of the biggest lessons of my 40s.

Actively Teaching Freedom at Home

This realisation hasn’t just changed how I see myself — it’s changed how I parent.

I actively discuss this with my boys. We talk about what drives them, what excites them, what drains them. I tell them openly that they do not have to follow a conventional path if it doesn’t feel right for them.

Stability looks different for different people. Success feels different for different people. Happiness is deeply individual.

I want them to feel free to live unconventionally should they wish. To choose adventure. To choose simplicity. To choose passion over prestige. To choose a path that fits them, not one that simply ticks societal boxes.

Because the worst thing we can do is raise children who feel trapped in a life they never consciously chose.

Accepting the Unconventional

The biggest shift hasn’t been changing my life.

It’s been accepting who I am.

I am unconventional. I don’t thrive in rigid routine .I need stimulation, growth, adventure, purpose.

For years I thought that meant something was wrong with me.

Now I realise it simply means I’m wired differently.

And I’m no longer ashamed of that.

So… What Is Important to You?

Is it security? Freedom? Impact? Adventure? Calm? Creativity? Recognition? Connection?

There is no right answer.

But there is a wrong approach — pretending something matters to you because you think it should.

As we get older, we learn ourselves. We change through different life stages. We deal with what’s been thrown at us. We evolve.

And with that evolution comes an opportunity:

To be honest. To acknowledge what drives you. To admit what drains you. To stop apologising for who you are.

If you feel restless…If you feel like you don’t quite fit the mould…If the routine feels heavier than it “should”…

You are not alone.

The key isn’t forcing yourself to be someone else.

It’s understanding yourself well enough to build a life — even within responsibilities — that honours who you really are.

Because at the end of the day, this is your one life.

And most of the time, you deserve to feel happy living it.